The Return

It is certainly a long time since I last written anything on this blog, or in fact, anything at all on paper, upon entry to my mundane but life changing experience in National Service. For the past 10 months or so, my life had changed so drastically. I am no longer that young innocent little boy, living in his protected cocoon away from the dark and dangerous world around him. I am no longer that nerd who simply only buried his head into books books books, which are basically just theories rather than the reality of what is actually happening around him. I am no longer that hermit who could live alone without feeding off the wonderful friendships and bonds that existed within his social boundaries. I am too no longer that unfit boy who is incapable of running 2.4 km without suffering from near fatal heart failures, stitches that felt like thousands of needles poking through your kidneys and legs that felt as heavy as large boulders. Not to mention, I am not longer that single man who wanders around his world alone without a companion by his side.
Exposed to the crude realities of the world, I had indeed changed for the better, in fact into what people termed as a "man". Over my course of work, I had seen what human beings truly are and what they are capable of doing, overturning that fantasy I had about men over my growing years. I had suffered physical, verbal and emotional abuse and threats in that dark place, and also witnessed terrible events that flashed in my mind when I listened or read each story behind every man before me. Even so, I saw some light that penetrated the pitch black, gloomy side of our society. I saw how families supported each other in desperate times. I saw one's repentance, resolute to change and tears of regret when a fair sentence was passed upon their moment of folly back then. I also saw how benevolent and fair Justice can be. These experiences shaped my perspective of what the world is and also made me that tough man who can face such things in life without blinking or shedding a tear, yet handle and solve such matters with a true human-like heart.
Also with these changes, I have finally met that woman who might have been send by the heavens to my side. She may be 25, an entire generation gap apart from me, but I have not realized this so far ever since I had been in a relationship with her. When she put her head on my shoulders, hold my hand in her warm ones and kiss me on my cheek, I can feel that I am in sync with her and at the same, a strong urge to protect her and keep her warm flows through my heart. Many had wondered why I fell in love with her, all I can say that all of this boils down to her simple yet powerful ability to care for someone. She is that only one who I have seen who can put one's feelings before hers always before she made a decision, that someone who can cook nice meals for the people she love, who can move and speak with grace, who love and cares about the small little animals around her like the stray cats below her block and the injured bird we saw along the beach, who loves and understand words and music like I do, who love colourful big dresses that the Japanese favoured, who can melt Joey with her hugs. All these small little things that constitutes her is what made me go all so crazy and so in love with her. Thank you for being my side always. Huijun.